Tender Mercies

I heard an awesome talk about tender mercies on Sunday.  Brother Dover talked about how  sometimes in life we can look at the little coincidences or happy comings that occur as either coincidences or tender mercies from God.  I am one who see's them as tender mercies. 

I feel like my whole journey with David has been a tender mercy.  From the very first day our eyes met.  I believe that it was a tender mercy that I met my future husband in the San Diego temple.  I always dreamed that was where I would meet my husband, and while my husband was on his mission he recieved news from his sister that she was moving to San Diego, and that he was welcome to come stay with them.  Later he recieved a picture of the San Diego temple and a thought occurred to him that he may one day meet his future wife there.  Coincidence or a tender mercy from my Savior?  

While dating there are just way too many tender mercies to even mention.  It's like we were being pushed by unknown forces to get to know one another! 

Fast forward to the year 2006 when I was expecting my beautiful daughter while in my fourth year of college.  We were both working, and going to school.  Neither of us had health insurance but we felt like for some reason now was the time to try.  So with complete blind faith we did.  What I later came to find out is that because I was attending UCSD, a school that specializes in medicine, my tuition rates also had included cost for health insurance.  I was covered the whole time I attended college and I didn't even know it.  My price to have Ariana was $0.00.  She was delivered by medical students at UCSD's Hospital.  Coincidence or tender mercy?

Then we find ourselves in 2007, with David being two weeks away from finishing up his last final in paramedic school, before he began his field hours.  He receives a phone call from his best friend Brandon, to move up and work for him in his Hearing office that he was opening up. We prayed and received an answer to move.  We dropped everything and left.  We thought our Heavenly Father was making us move because what I as a "24 year old" thought would be for monetary wealth.  What I found out is that we were about to be tested.  We had no money for about two years.  And when I say no money I mean no money.  Some days I didn't know how I was going to put milk on the table.  Our faith was tested.  But boy did it grow.  When we moved up to Phoenix we promised ourselves that David would enroll himself in school, no matter how good or bad business went.  We failed to keep that promise when we moved up.  Our second year there David felt prompted that he needed to keep that end of his promise.  He began to enroll himself in a community college there.  Before we knew it we were being offered a job to move up to Sedona were he would run a hearing office.  When we took this job David made it very clear to the owners that he would be going to school at the same time.  We worried this would deter them from wanting to hire him. They loved the idea! And were super supportive.  

So we decided to move up promising each other we would not stop the school thing and he didn't.  We wondered why all of the sudden we found an awesome job, if what our Heavenly Father wanted was for us to do school.  But we just kept going.  Once up in Cottonwood, a city 20 minutes from Sedona, we began thinking about how after he finished his last community college courses maybe he shouldn't apply to ASU's school but NAU's instead.  That thought would have never crossed our minds had we not moved up to Northern Arizona.  When David was looking at what degree's ASU's extended online campuses offered most were all business degrees.  So that's what he was going to do.  But when he looked at NAU's he found that just as we moved up there they had opened up a new degree that was offered completely online.  It was a Speech and Hearing degree.  Coincidence or tender mercy?   He thought this was perfect then he would be able to able to apply for the Doctorate program for Audiology after.  So he became an official lumberjack.  We were there 9 months and we were very happy.  Then out of the blue we were contacted by someone else with a new job offer back down in Surprise AZ.  

After much prayer we felt like we had to take it.  They offered a huge increase in salary and they offered health, and we were having increased desires to bring another one into this world. So off we went.  When we stepped into our home, David looked at me and said, "Marissa I don't think we will be here for long.  I think we will only be here for a year."  I looked at him like he was crazy.  I thought this was a great job, we had great friends around us, and we were both playing on a soccer league.  Life could not get much better.  But true to his words exactly a year latter he was dismissed by his drunk supervisor.  Which I was bitter about for a long time but now I am grateful for.  Looking back David needed to work for the company down in Surprise, because we would have never been able to afford the extra science courses he needed to take through another school called Rio Salado.  They were the only other school that offered Science courses online. And because we were already receiving financial aid from NAU we could not through Rio.  So not only was Rio Salado ridiculously difficult.  But they were very expensive.  But we had the job long enough to be able to afford it.  But once we didn't need anymore expensive science courses we found ourselves without a job. 

A week before he was dismissed we finally took a vacation down to San Diego.  I don't know why but I felt like I was going to be moving down soon, and I would be living with my Dad in his three bedroom town home.  My parents had recently divorced a few months prior.  And they were both going through a difficult transition.  Not to mention my younger siblings! So, I decided that when David got dismissed that the timing was uncanny.  And that maybe my family needed me.  David had been looking for a job in Arizona but he wasn't really finding anything.  And then we both prayed and felt like he just needed to stop working and just go to school full time.  So, graciously my father allowed us to stay with him.  David, Ariana, Viggo, Me and baby baking in my belly.  We did the math and figured that if David went to school "full time" meaning he would have to take 25 units one semester and 30 the next, he could finish his degree in one year.  And then our minds began to race again.  His sister Cari graduated from a PA program and as she was doing it, his Dad kept telling David he should look into it.  I don't know if it's because David was a hearing specialist but we just blinded ourselves to the idea and kept thinking he needed to become and audiologist.  When he lost his job, he became discouraged with the industry and it forced him to open his ears and eyes.  We looked into the program and realized that with his degree in speech and hearing and with all his science courses, and because he has had so many hours logged for experience for being a hearing specialist, and with his experience in paramedic school he fulfilled all the requirements needed to qualify for the PA program in Washington.  After much prayer we felt this is what we had to do.  So I got to help my family during a difficult time, and they helped us to be able to finish school more quickly so we could apply to the PA program more quickly. 

It was not easy!! My whole little family stayed in my sisters room.  David, Ariana, Viggo, Micah and I all stayed in the same room.  Did I mention that around this time my brother Josh moved back in, as well as my sister Jessica.  I don't know how my Dad did it but he seemed unfazed.  Sometimes I wonder if he was just happy to have us all around to distract him from his sadness.  I could hear all the kids at night breathing at different speeds.  I don't know how we did it with a newborn that woke up several times at night, but Ariana and Viggo never stirred when Micah would begin to cry.  It's as though they were blessed with a heavy sleep.  Coincidence or tender mercy? So there we were all in one room, and David taking 30 units.  Which comprised of four high level science courses.  As difficult as that time was it went by quickly.  And as difficult as it we enjoyed that time as well.  Getting to be with my family again during a difficult time made us a siblings grow close.  How I missed them when we moved out. I missed our discussions we would have at night.  And our nightly t.v round up. David missed my brother, and I missed seeing David tease my Dad and force him to smile.  And I missed seeing my mom obsess over Micah.  Not to mention being in San Diego allowed us to hang out with Sara and Kevin, and our little Ella more often.  I miss watching David take Ariana to school, because I was either too sick while pregnant, or too busy with a newborn.  At one point in that time we thought David wasn't going to make it but he found a way, and here we are today.

Today we find ourselves in Tucson, AZ.  We applied for a great paying job in Phoenix, but for some reason it didn't work out.  We thought we had the job and everything.  But this one in Tucson, AZ did work out.  I don't know why but I am sure around the bend in the future I will find it was just another tender mercy given to us by my Savior.  Today David officially has is Bachelors in Science in Speech and Hearing.  And we are awaiting on pins and needles to find out if David got into the PA program up in Washington State.  But no matter what happens from here, I know we will be fine.  Whether we receive good news or bad.  Because my Heavenly Father has shown me time after time that everything he has done is for the good of my family and I.  I thank him daily for always watching carefully the journey that my family and I are taking.  We are grateful to have his guidance and tender mercies in our life. And I am grateful to have my husband.  

(Here is "Your Song")

David you are the most determined, kind, silly, and most loving person I have EVER met.  My life is better with you.  You have the ability to bring light into our lives when things seem dark.  You are the most wonderful father.  Yoy finished your BS having along the way a total of three kids, and me.  I can see in your eyes how sad you get when you can't afford to do certain things for us.  But know that we have never lacked in anything.  And the kids have never ever felt like they are missing out on anything.  They get to have so much love in their lives.  And that is a blessing I do not take lightly.  I am so proud of you.  I know you say you are embarrassed that you are getting your BS in what you say is so "late" in life.  But I am so utterly proud of you.  You and I know the difficulties that have been placed in our path.  And sometimes it seemed like some obstacles where going to be impossible to over come.  But every time you did it.  I love you so much and the words that exist in this world just do not adequately express what you mean to me.  You may refuse to go up to Flagstaff to walk across that stage.  But here in my silly little blog I wanted to praise you for all you have accomplished so far.  I love you David Carl Ettinger.  And I thank god every day for the tender mercy he presented to me when we first laid eyes on each other in the San Diego temple.  You don't know this but I laugh when I hear our wedding song.  We didn't date for too long.  I think we dated six-seven months before we were engaged.  And lets be honest when we were around each other we weren't busy listening to music lol.  But as time has gone by this is the song I think of when I think of us.  "Your Song" by Elton John.  I don't have much to give you, but I can give you this.

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it's done
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world

( To My Family and I mean all of you!!!!)

You do not know what you all mean to me.  David's family I don't know what I can say.  I truly do love you all.  You have all not just supported David but I and the kids as well.  I wish I could go through each and everyone of you but I think this post would become a novel.  But thank you all for teaching me so much about love.  It is that which has allowed David and I to be able to accomplish so much so far in a short little journey.  I sit here with tears in my eyes thinking about all the wonderful tender mercies I have experienced at your hands.  To my family thank you for always being there to pick us up when we felt like we couldn't get back up.  You are so readily there whenever we need you.  I love you guys so much.  So thank you all!! I just wanted to take the time to recognize David and you all.  Like I said I am just so proud of him and there isn't much I can do, but I can write it all down.

Love you guys!! And I hope you all have a Merry Christmas!!

Excited to see what's next in store for him! Congratulations David!!!