Ariana and Viggo where at the neighbors and we just hung out in the living room with Micah. I just sat myself down and shot away. I've been practicing how to incorporate grain into some of my pictures, and allowing myself to break some rules. I think I am finally getting more comfortable with the idea that not everyone will find what I do to be wonderful or perfect, or ideal. But that is what art is. It lies in the eye of the beholder. I feel myself getting more comfortable and at ease. For, a long time I was so worried about trying to be original and add something new to the table, that I found that I was doing just the opposite of what I wanted to do. Now, I'm not so worried about finding my own voice. Or, producing the sharpest, most clear picture. Now I just shoot and enjoy the moment. I may not be the best, and I may never find one of my pictures published in a blog, magazine, newspaper or even be pinterest worthy. But that is not why I do this. I do it because it has allowed me to see the world through new eyes. And I find that I am learning so much about myself.
I turn 30 in exactly 11 days. Yes the big 3-0. I have been making a big deal about it at home well because I love getting attention from my hubby and it feels like this is a huge bench mark. I guess I felt that by the time I was 30 I should feel like this mature, wise adult, who's life feels like it's all together. Instead I am a mom with three kids (insanely cute by the way) and a husband who works and goes and is trying to continue going to school ( he also rather dapper looking if I may say so myself), who is constantly trying to be a great mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, photographer, cook, and every day I feel like I come up short. Instead I find that I am project that is constantly evolving. I use to think that happiness would come from finding some sort of perfection in this life. But I am starting to enjoy and find beauty in my imperfections. How boring would life be if we were all naturally perfect. There is beauty in the journey. There is beauty in seeing a project unfold itself into something. Everything in life has a journey to take. Nothing arrives at some perfect state without work. Instead I feel like my acknowledgement of my imperfections and lackings are allowing myself to be more easily molded into something beautiful by my heavenly father. I am not sure what the end result will look like but I know it will be nothing short of amazing. So, as I turn 30 soon I will better try to enjoy the journey. And like these pictures with there small imperfections there is still a beauty and light that shines through them. I believe that is like life. We will accumulate grain in our lives, but instead of it ruining our picture of life, it will only help to enhance it. There will be a beauty and light that will still shine forth.
* Side note, my Viggo is going into primary today! He will be a sunbeam. So excited.....hope the transition goes smoothly.
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