For the past two years now I have been wanting to find something that I am great at. My husband always tells me that I am a great mother and wife, and I am so proud of this!! But I feel like everything I have done in life I can pretty much be good at. For example in highschool I was a runner and I was good, but not great. I was always athletic but nothing out of the ordinary. I can sing, but once again its just average. I play the piano, but its just good. I think I am an excellent cook, but nothing that no one else can do. I can sew, but nothing that one would consider a masterpiece. I'm smart but I am not a genius!! I don't know what it is, but this has been bothering me!! I guess my thought process is, is that if I can find something that I am great at, I will find my passion. I wan't to find that thing that I can do, that makes me feel like " this is what I do".
I have considered many things. For example I have wanted to take up surfing, but being that there is no beach out here I can not do that. Then I wanted to prepare for a marathon, but to be honest I just feel like this won't make me grow. I know I can run. Running has always been easy for me, and I feel like it will be just something that I am picking up again. Then I thought well I can become a gym instructor, because I love health and exercise. But once again I feel like I won't grow from this. I want to do something that is out of my comfort zone. So I began to think about what I can do that would be a challenge for me. So I have decided that in this year I would try and tap into my "creative self". I want to explore this side which I have never really considered. Don't get me wrong I do stuff like buy patterns from the sewing department and make my daughter a dress, or I can buy flowers and make them into hair clips, or I can scap book...... but I want to go deeper than this. I want to be able to do something out of my own mind. I do not want a pattern or a set of instructions that will cause me to produce someone else's idea. I want something to be my own. I want to use my mind and create something for myself.
Maybe this dosen't make sense but I am so excited to do this. Yesterday I went to the library and picked up some books on photography. I have decided that I am going to see if photography can be my creative outlet. I am very excited. I love taking pictures, but I want to take good pictures. I want to capture a moment. I want to capture an emotion, a feeling, I want to stop time for a brief second. I want to capture beauty where one may not ordinarily look. So here I go....... I don't know if I will be great at this, I may simply just end up being good, but I am so excited to see if this could be what I could be great at. I am excited to see if this could be my passion. And if its not, its not a problem, because I learned something new along the way. But I am determined to find my passion. If this dosen't work I am going to take a class in pottery, or jewelry. I am so excited...... I am excited to see where this exploration takes me.
* To be honest I know what my passion is...... and its helping others. That's why I majored in sociology. I love people!!! I once wanted to be a doctor so I could help children, and families. But I decided, that for me I could make the greatest change in the world by raising my beautiful children, to be good citizens, and good people!! This is what brings me my happiness!! But I just want to explore myself and find a tangible talent. Something that I am great at. I don't know if this makes sense, but I guess this what a blog is for......... so here's to finding what I am great at!!!
