Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Stars


Every time my family gets ready to move I try and take everything in. I will be driving and I try to remember all the beautiful trees on the two lane rd. into town. I try and remember how the trees begin to change color. I roll down the windows on my way to the gym, so that I can smell the clean fresh crisp smell of the breeze as the sun begins to rise. I try and remember how excited we were to move up to cottonwood. When I went to church on Sunday I try to imprint permanently the faces of all the little ones I have been teaching for the last year. I look at the teachers and go one by one, and try to make sure to remember what I have learned from each and every one of them. Driving back home today I noticed that the sound of the locusts were getting louder. My friend Cindy who happens to be the best Primary President ever told me that when the locusts come out it is a sign that cooler weather is on its way. And sure enough it has been cooler, and I noticed that the tree by my house is looking a little less leafy. So many things to take in.

And then tonight I stepped outside looked up at the sky and was left in awe as I always am, when I looked at the vast array of stars. What I love about where I live is that the city is so small that not a lot of light is reflected into the sky and in my neighborhood there are hardly any street lamps, and people don't bother to turn on their outside home lights. This allows one to truly appreciate the brilliance of the stars. I don't have to go camping to really see the stars shine. I just have to step outside. But tonight was different. As I looked up, I realized I have been living here for about a year and a half, and there have been countless nights when I have ignored their beauty which is just a few steps out my door. Every night I am presented with their beauty yet, somehow I fail to recognize them most nights. Just like I am now trying to take everything in, right before I leave. This just made me realize how important it is to live in the present. I believe we should have goals, and be excited about the future, but to live in the present is like no other experience. It has made me realize that I don't want to take in and appreciate every second of my kids, right before they take off for college, mission, or get married. And the same with family, and my husband. You never know what is in store tomorrow, but today..... we know that we have today and we should make the most of it. So here is to not only living in the present, but learning to recognize and appreciate the present that presents itself to us each and everyday.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Hit a Wall

So much has happened in just a couple of weeks. Last week David is asked to work at a new job. David tells them we will only move under these conditions. We totally thought they would come back and say no, and it would make our job of saying no so easy.

Well they came back and said yes. So then we had a lot of thinking to do. We finally decided the offer was to good to resist. So we are leaving beautiful Northern Arizona to go back to Phoenix. He is going to run the hearing center in the Sam's Club. They offered us a raise and health insurance. We have been praying for health insurance and now we got it. How could we have said no.

So we have to be down there in two weeks. I am a little stressed about packing, I was stressed about David giving his two weeks notice. We did not want to put the partners in a hard spot. And we have been stressed about finding a home. And I am feeling a little emotional. I get so sad when my kids have to leave friends, and wonderful teachers. I know they will be fine, but questions coming from my little three little girl like will I have friends? Will my new sunbeam teacher like me? Will I still get to come up and see my friends? But I am going to miss my babysitters mom. I love Lexi, Ashley, and Karen. All these cause me to tear up.

Today I woke up thinking we had preschool. Got Ariana all ready. We were running late, because we both were having a hard morning. I think she senses the change. Anyways she was throwing tantrums all day. One tantrum she had was about her shoes, then she threw a fit about how here shoes were on the wrong feet. I insisted they weren't. Well I got to Alicia's house and realized I did put them on the wrong feet. I felt so horrible. Then I know on Alicia's door and I find out today is Monday not Tuesday. I arrived a whole day early. Seriously I think I hit my wall. I started to tear up, and was so embarrassed. She was so nice. I love having such wonderful people around me. Well to say the least I am grateful I showed up even though there was no preschool today, it gave me a good laugh and cry. Oh and to make things worse, today is gorgeous. There is a wonderful cool breeze. I have all my windows open, and no air conditioning. Yes, August in Arizona and no need for air conditioning today. Yup, I hit my wall today. So here is to two weeks of absolute caious.